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If Cats Could Write (and Review) Books
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cat Pile in the Sand: the Zen Cat's Guide to Litter
by Bip, Teddy, and Fuzzy Pajamas
(excerpt from Catweek)

"...The haphazard arrangement of the book's chapters belies the pristine order the authors would impose upon our defecating mounds. We have all met cats who have taken this dubious and controversial form of domestication/subjugation way too seriously (anyone who has attended Littercon, for instance)... [the] authors of this book (and undoubtedly those from whose boxes the full-color photos are taken) would have us believe that 'greater aesthetic and spiritual harmony is possible with indoor litter than in the chancy and uncontrolled outer world.' Yet wasn't it Bip and Teddy who were pivotal in the scathing "Take Back the Night" campaign whose purpose seemed to be to jeer at those whose circumstances forced them to play inside? The same cats now preaching the virtues of a well-tended crap box are the same who once touted the thrill of the hunt. Where does maturity become hypocrisy? Have the authors now discovered the joys of inside life, such as a red plastic ball within which a cleverly designed bell jingles..."

Through Human Eyes: Cats in the Movies, 1910-2007
by Mister Buttons
(excerpt from review in The New Cat's Quarterly)

"...Through a long-winded and pedantic prologue, Buttons attempts to convince a skeptical reader that there is much to be gained not only by viewing human films but by analyzing them and our role within them. Even if one were to take Buttons' proposal on faith, the hastily-conceived essays quickly crumble under their own shoddy scholarship and moonbat ramblings.... [The author] treats cartoon cats with the same critical lens as live-action actors (one wonders if Buttons even realizes that cartoon cats are voiced by human actors and drawn by human hands), and then proceeds to ignore the contributions of many of our finest stars in the human medium.... Let's face it: a book about movie cats without an essay on Morris has spent its credibility before we're past the table of contents."

The Nightpouncer's Revenge: A Novel
by Blackie
(excerpt from Bauble Aficionado)

"...In this best novel yet by Nightpouncer originator Blackie (who wisely chooses to write under a pseudonym instead of his given name Superkitty), the Pounce is up to his old tricks when he stumbles across a pack of raccoons moving into his neighborhood. A common-enough occurrence, and conventional wisdom would hold that the perspicacious cat simply concede and retreat as quickly as possible. But Nightpouncer's appeal is that he bucks conventional wisdom and, with a head-spinning combination of daredevil fighting skills and maverick wit, manages to expel the bear-rats, only to find that his shenanigans have put the kibosh on the territorial designs of one Razorclaw, who of course seeks to exact payment and proceeds to... But any more plot would be a spoiler; suffice it to say that nothing beats sunbeam reading like Nightpouncer novels, and his latest exploits do not disappoint."

end of essay
Joseph G. Carson Portrait Joe was the original guitarist for the now legendary Clark Schpiell and the Furry Cockroaches without Butts, playing two chords in a four-chord song under the assumed name of Jason, which he has taken to be a metaphor for his existence (the two chords part, not the Jason part). He has contributed several long pieces to CSP, including the crime novels Danine and Inheriting Dust, the latter of which is still in progress. He has also written the occasional humor piece, movie review, and political essay. | more essays by Joseph
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