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NFL ‘06 Season Analysis, 1 of 4
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NFL

It's time to update my thoughts and predictions as the NFL season enters its final stretch. Mostly, I want to point out how brilliant some of my pre-season predictions were. Seriously, it's baffling why I haven't gotten the call to join the FOX Sports team. Hi Troy (Aikman)!

Second, David and Shannon are doing a little remodeling on their home. They claim it's to add a bigger master bedroom and another bathroom - but I'm sure it's because they wanted to give Rick and I more room for our Super Bowl party we're going to hold at their house.

Third. Troy Aikman (again). Hi Troy! I'm sure you're pretty impressed with my analysis and are just about ready to call me to come work with you and Joe Buck (my fellow St. Louisan) in the booth. Oh, by the way... hi Troy!

So here we go. I'll go in the same order as I did in my pre-season analysis, which I'm sure you've read over and over.

Houston Texans
You guys seem like a perfectly nice team, but you still suck. I said you guys should have taken either Bush or a quarterback, then I decided a quarterback was the most important and I was right! Yay me! Troy Smith, Brady Quinn, though I don't like Notre Dame because I think they get a lot of breaks - TV time, break in the polls, etc. Sorry David Carr, but you're just not that good and you'll be out of a job. Oh, and great job in taking Mario Williams first in the draft. Everyone knew then it was stupid and it will go down as the most boneheaded draft choice ever.

New Orleans Saints
Reggie Bush finally had his breakout game - and there will be no stopping him. Go Reggie! They finally figured out how to use Reggie and his talents. I was right about this team. I said they will be the most improved team in the league and they are. And I picked them to get to the playoffs -- looking good! Miami is kicking themselves for not taking quarterback Drew Brees, as I said they would! RB Deuce McAllister is having an outstanding season. Rookie receiver Marques Colston out of Hofstra (Hofstra?) is having a great first year - wait, I'm looking at his stats and it says he was undrafted? Wow. They got a great talent in this kid.

Tennessee Titans
They started out crappy, but that's only because rookie quarterback got thrown into the fire and boy, did he learn the ropes fast! I'm so happy Vince is doing well. He's learning very quickly and is already very comfortable and poised in the pocket, and not making too many rookie mistakes (unlike Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler - more on those two later). I give credit to Norm Chow, who groomed Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart at USC. Also, Jeff Fisher is bringing this team together. This guy knows how to develop a quarterback, and fast. Just to remind, here's what I said about Vince Young:

    "if there's anyone who could live through an initiation by fire, and welcome it, it's Vince Young. I can't wait to watch Young as he progresses. Of all the quarterbacks in the draft - and in recent memory - there has never been anyone like him in the position. And don't compare Young to Michael Vick because Young will prove to be very different and much better than Vick ever was paid to be - which, by the way, was a joke. 10 years $100 million. Are you kidding me? To the Falcons I say, 'suckers.'"
Talk about me being right! And, I have to point out that the sports guys on TV are saying exactly the same thing about Vince Young; that you can't compare Young to Vick because he's like no quarterback we've seen. Seriously, they almost quote me. Hmmm, maybe they are quoting me. Anyhoo, the Titans my not make the post season, but no one wants to go through Tennessee on their way to the playoffs. And because of Vince Young, they're only going to get better next year.

New York Jets
I don't know too much about this team. They found their quarterback in the (finally) improved Chad Pennington. And my boy Brad Smith (also undrafted) from Missouri is making some nice contributions, as I said he would. So, I was kind of wrong about their quarterback situation, I'll admit, but I don't think anyone else gave Pennington the time of day either. However, this team is in position to make the playoffs.

Green Bay
I didn't give this team much of a chance, and that's held up. Brett Favre is still capable of winning the big one, but he needs a good team behind him. Brett, you gotta get out of Green Bay, man. And stop just throwing the damn ball in the air hoping for the best, only to have it intercepted. You're better than that. Go to a different team! Here's some suggestions: Miami, Cleveland, Carolina, Tampa Bay. I think Carolina could win the Super Bowl with the right QB.

San Francisco 49ers
Yes, I still hate them because Rick loves them, but they're not doing too badly. Alex Smith is getting better, and they've found a nice running back in Frank Gore. They still suck, but in the crappy NFC even a 5-7 team still has a shot for the playoffs. But, I've said it before: Alex Smith is good, but he still didn't deserve the number 1 pick and the big paycheck. He's good, but he's no Leinart or Young, and I don't think he ever will be.

Oakland Raiders
Hmm, what's the word I'm thinking of? Hmm...oh yeah, suck! Do not win any more games, so you can get the number 1 draft pick of superstar quarterback Troy Smith of Ohio State or Brady Quinn of Notre Dame (even though I don't like Notre Dame because they get such favoritism, which they don't deserve). It will be Oakland, Tampa Bay and possibly the Washington R's - I won't say their team name because it is so offensive - for the quarterback race.

end of essay
Jeanette imagines herself to be the youngest and most attractive contributor to CSP. She is a writer/director/actor and is one of the founding members of Lucid by Proxy (along with David and Rick). She spends most of her time sitting at home alone talking to her cats, who lovingly ignore her in return. | more essays by Jeanette
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