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Point/Counterpoint: *NSYNC
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CHRIS: *NSYNC kind of rocks.
So, a few months ago, Desiree (my fiancee) told me I should listen to her *NSYNC CD, Celebrity. She's a big *NSYNC fan, and I figured I should at least make an attempt to enjoy the things she likes. I ripped the CD to my iPod so I could listen to it at work and ... I dig it. I never thought I'd say this about any boy-band, but *NSYNC kind of rocks. Justin's vocals are funky and smooth, the beats are tight, and the music itself is pretty edgy, so far as boy-band fare goes. I'm not saying that *NSYNC rocks on a Queensryche, or even a Bon Jovi, kind of level. But in their own element, that slightly-cheesey Boy-Band World, they do kick it pretty hard.

I'm gonna leave this album on my iPod, and listen some more. I think you should give a listen, too -- you may find some tunes which break through your pre-conceived notions about bubble-gum pop and the boy-band phenomenon. I did.

 

DAVID: My brother is a pansy.
My fuckin' brother. Dude, what the hell? When did he become such a goddamn pansy? *NSYNC? *NSYNC? *NSUCK, more like. I can't belive my brother, Boy-Nett, M.C. Stopher, the CeeLeeNator, has become such a fucking girl. A GIRL! What is this horseshit?! Aw, man, I just can't believe what a fucking pansy this kid has become. It is beyond my capacity to believe. I'm almost at a fucking loss for words, except to say, "dude, what the fuck?" My head is swimming with this shit. Have I listened to *NSYNC? No fuckin' way, dude. I'm all man -- I don't go in for that pansy crap. Sure, I've got a few Lionel Richie tracks on my 'Pod, but Lionel was the man in his day. Okay, so I've got three Dixie Chicks songs on it as well. So what? Those bitches are hot, at least the two sisters are. Natalie is a little hot, I guess, if you can get past her lack of a neck. She's got the pipes, though -- damn, that girl can sing!

Anyway, back to me point about my brother and the pansitude. *NSYNC -- man, that's a level to which I cannot stoop. In conclusion: what a fucking pansy my brother has become.

end of essay
David Nett Portrait David is an actor, writer and producer in Los Angeles. He's the founder and editor-in-chief of CSP, and a founding producer of the acclaimed Lucid by Proxy theater company. Despite all this, he still has to hold down a day job in the dot-com world, where he does product and interaction design. His acting has been called "committed," "detailed," "fearless," "hilarious" and "heart-rending" by the LA Times and Backstage West. His writing has been called "articulate and commanding" and "eminently readable" by Flak Magazine. His tenth grade Geometry teacher said he "does not work well in groups." | more essays by David
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