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Review Haiku
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I'm, uh, getting a little burnt out on this "movie review" thing. Seriously, I've reviewed like 25 movies over the last month or so. But, I made a commitment to you, dear reader, to review every single film I watched on SAG's dime before I voted for the awards this year and, by gum, I'm gonna do it. So, here're a bunch of 'em, in friendly (and short) haiku format:

my big fat greek wedding My Big Fat Greek Wedding

stretch a fun sitcom
to two hours, add too much hype:
you'll smile, but not laugh.

barbershop Barbershop

there's much to like here,
but why not cast a real old
black man, not Cedric?

red dragon Red Dragon

Ed Norton should play
psychos, and men on the edge.
I liked Manhunter.

harry potter and the chamber of secrets Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

a fine book ruined by
poor, lazy storytelling.
my wife fell asleep.

divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

exactly what I
expected, no more, no less.
a chick flick? I guess.

auto focus Auto Focus

if Crane's story was
interesting as the cast,
I'd have liked this flick.

road to perdition Road to Perdition

beautiful, but cold.
I liked this film, but promptly
forgot I'd seen it.

the rookie The Rookie

all family flicks
should be made with as much care.
good script, good acting.

igby goes down Igby Goes Down

Jeff Goldblum gets caught
with his pants down, by Culkin.
what's not to like here?

minority report Minority Report

smart science fiction
turns retarded in the last
twenty minutes. crap.

end of essay
David Nett Portrait David is an actor, writer and producer in Los Angeles. He's the founder and editor-in-chief of CSP, and a founding producer of the acclaimed Lucid by Proxy theater company. Despite all this, he still has to hold down a day job in the dot-com world, where he does product and interaction design. His acting has been called "committed," "detailed," "fearless," "hilarious" and "heart-rending" by the LA Times and Backstage West. His writing has been called "articulate and commanding" and "eminently readable" by Flak Magazine. His tenth grade Geometry teacher said he "does not work well in groups." | more essays by David
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