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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

No More Stupid Drivers in Los Angeles

Los Angeles, CA - March 8, 2006 - Hate stupid drivers? Don't let your kid become one. Irate driver, Michelle Magoffin, opened a new driving school in Los Angeles called No More Stupid Drivers to teach drivers all the things they don't learn in traditional driver education. She will focus on such concepts as:

  • Slower Traffic Keep Right
  • Step on the Gas
  • Nice Turn Signal, Jackass
  • Pay Attention
  • Move the Fuck Over
  • Don't Park Your SUV in a Compact Spot

The mission of No More Stupid Drivers is two-fold. Magoffin hopes to reach kids before they start driving so that they hit the roads from day one as safe, competent drivers who aren't likely to piss her off should she encounter them on her 100-mile round-trip commute. In addition, Magoffin would like to reach out to experienced drivers and, instead of punching them in the teeth as she has imagined on so many occasions, re-educate them about proper roadway behavior. She believes so strongly in her mission, that Magoffin is offering free lessons to anyone she has flipped off or honked at in 2006.

No More Stupid Drivers hopes to expand to the Valley, Malibu and that one stretch of the 405 by mid-summer. Look for advanced classes at the Malibu location on Maintaining a Constant Speed, Making Lane Changes That Don't Take All Fucking Day, and a two-day intensive version of Slower Traffic Keep Right: I'm Talking to You, Asshole.

No More Stupid Drivers is open during non-peak driving hours because, seriously, Magoffin would not subject others like herself to morons just learning how to drive. For an appointment, call 1-800-STUPID1.

Press Contact:
Michelle Magoffin
No More Stupid Drivers
1-800-STUPID1
imeanyou@nomorestupiddrivers.com

end of essay
By day, Michelle is an upstanding businesswoman and new mom. By night, she saves the world from peevishness and botheration at the Peevery. In her spare time, she writes what she knows and tries to show, not tell. | more essays by Michelle
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