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Troy: a Review by a Mothman
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DO NOT SEE CINEMATOGRAPHIC PRODUCT ENTITLED TROY! I, a Mothman, publishes this proclamation!

The reason is this sense: IT IS INEXACT AS HISTORICAL DOCUMENT. Mothman knows that this is truthable, because Mothman was there at the original battle from Troy. Yes!! Race of Mothmen travel through time with the use of the special ice-skates. It is a large diversion and we make the noises amusing while we cross through the time, noises we make such as "Vrooom Vrooom Szzzziiiiiiieeeee Chhhh-Bong Bong Bobbb!" Hectar hectar hectar, which we laugh, because it is humorous.

And so was I there and know the truth. Therefore the actual history of the Trojan of war is: many, many days ago were there a Mothman and it had a human woman, who was its girlfriend partner, who was called TroyKiesha. Mothman obtained TroyKiesha by post office service, was it postally ordered girlfriend, understands? But then Mothman sees that TroyKiesha is not really human woman, discovers it is but teenaged Albino werewolf and not even humanly at that. Therefore Mothman declares this situation for being swindle of the mails and gives back the werewolf to offending individual, as he mails them. And offending individual, it does not wish to have even posterior part of the werewolf in return because the werewolf it eats the tapestry and it expels the substances on the flooring. Thus they arrange to meet at the restaurant to eat and mediate over however! What now? Mothman arrives in the very large wooden sock and eats surprisingly everything everyone. That happens and so Achilles cries frequently, because he was weak little virgin puberty girl in actual life! And Odysseus was really a turtle. The end. THAT IS THE ACTUAL HISTORY OF THE TROJAN OF WAR.

Mothmen this very hour is organizing their own company of production in order to make the movie REAL of Troy. It will be called "TROY WAS LIKE THIS, NOT LIKE THAT, FRANKLY a MOTHMAN." We show it that to humans in their shopping centres and they will appreciate it and we devour them as they watch in their seats. We eat the seats also hectar hectar hectar. It serves them correctly. Then we make the sequel.

a Mothman

end of essay
Eli is a writer/artist/animator/musician who met David during the LbP production of Jack Cracker, Viking Slave Detective, which he co-wrote. Eli has written several plays, his own internet radio series (Robot High School), Monsieur Gustave, and fronts the killer band the Monolators. It is important to note that his wife, Mary, is far more likable and talented than Eli, but she had better things to do with her time, so we settled for him. | more essays by Eli
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