Have you recently been victim of a verbal pooping? Uncertain what that is?
Verbal poop is that dialogue which shoots, drips, spills and/or plops out of one's mouth when one is not 100% certain of that which one speaks. In laymen's terms, verbal pooping is not quite lying, not really being dishonest, not exactly avoiding the truth, not directly "faking it," but at the same time it is all of these things with a floating Lincoln log in that "Super Bowl" of potty talking: double-speak. In the olden days, they said, "he's chewing gum." Today, I shall not mix metaphors for obvious reasons.
It's so hard in America to not squeeze out a verbal nugget now and then. We're conditioned to it (I think it's what we eat). We're so constipated with cheeseburgers and potatoes we actually take out our physical distress on those around us, with a different kind of dropping. I, too, am guilty. Though, I am also an activist for putting an end to this constant drip a little, wipe it up, put on a new pair of panties exchange of crap we feel so free to do. 99% of the time, I am doing my best to not leave verbal pooplets on other people. However, if I do bomb them with a butt rocket, I try to clean a bit, spray a little potpourri and warn them, "Hey, I wouldn't take what I just said too seriously -- at least not for a good 1/2 hour!" Because it's not always easy to control.
I work in sales and consulting and when "the customer is always right," sometimes I'm in a hell of a predicament because it's my job to tell them they're wrong. But, I also want their business, which half of the time just means making them feel right, so I tap-dance around the fact that they're wrong or disagree with slight "maybes" and "if you're lucky" and "You never know!" All verbal poops.
Verbal poops are that which happen to you every day at:
That's not nice at all. That's poop, but more so, it's crap I'd rather hear the truth, than the poop. You don't have to hurt my feelings in the process like saying, "You're a fat butt face, Kirk! You untalented piece of crap!" Rather, just go with, "Hey, today's not your lucky day, because I'm not doing this deal with you, but, good luck!" I believe wishing someone good luck can never be dishonest, because with Karma, saying it makes it so. Even if you hate someone, wishing them luck makes them feel good -- whereby you score brownie points with your future endeavors and the elements which control them!
Here are some examples of how to get to the point, in a sensible manner:
Okay, I am becoming a bit ill, and this topic's visuals are not exactly appetizing, so I'll wrap it up by saying this: if you have nothing better to say, just say the truth, however it comes out! It always hurts a little at first, but what relief! Because verbal turds, regardless of size, shape, smell, consistency, in the end are not pleasant. So, to close I will reiterate: Poop from your bum is normal, natural and quite necessary. Poop from your mouth is stinky, stupid, unecessary and bad for your Karma.
Please, next time when you feel a strong urge to drop a mini-keelboat on your fellow fellas and felines with your very crappy, not so earnest, fake "happy thoughts," rather just push it back into your brain with all your might. Perhaps pinch off one very slight, subtle driblet of a "take care" and embrace the slight heart-burn-ish pain you may feel from the pressure of not being able to vent your dishonest juicy squirt on someone you don't care about. Then, go home and take a long look in the mirror, grab a Mr. Microphone and shit your butt off with a good naked karaoke all night long on the porcelain pedestal. I promise you'll feel better in the morning. If that doesn't work, milk of magnesia is a very good thing.