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Worst American Pride T-Shirt Slogans
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american pride t-shirt slogan American Bull Terrier with Flag Bandana
Okay. So, America is a pit bull? Yes, I know this image was pulled from some WWII war effort posters, so it is a part of our glorious national history, but you'd think, with all the bad press pit bulls have gotten in the past few years - mauling innocent people, eating babies, etc, we'd think twice before dredging-up the whole US/pit bull association. What do you think of when you think of America? Oh, yes, that dog that eats babies. That's just what we need.
 
american pride t-shirt slogan "Contents: One Pissed-Off American"
The great thing about this t-shirt is that it does not necessarily have to refer to the Sept. 11 attacks, or even American pride in general. The proud wearer of this t-shirt can be pissed off about almost anything -- so long as he or she is an American, the shirt rings true. While I don't think it's an accurate reflection of the extremely complex emotions that have surfaced throughout the country since the attack, I might buy it just to wear it the next time my cable goes out.
 
american pride t-shirt slogan CyberSpacers of America
Whatever this organization is (I spend a good chunk of my life online, and I've never heard of them), they ought to be ashamed of themselves just for slapping their name and website URL (you can't really read it in the picture) on this shirt that is supposedly being sold to help aid those hit most closely by this disaster. A picture of the stupid monitor-head mascot maybe holding a flag or something would have been tolerable. It might have shown to a fellow Cyberspacer of America that the wearer is a CyberSpacer of America and supports the spirit of the United States. But this blatant advertising ploy is just shitty. There's no other word for it -- shitty. I'm glad the Cyberspacers of America (whoever they are) feel a sense of American pride, but I wish they could show it without the blatant marketing ploy attached.
 
american pride t-shirt slogan Pewsitters
The sentiment of this t-shirt is sweet and sincere. The Pewsitters characters are standing around, looking very sad, and there's an appropriate biblical quote (with nothing to do with wrath or vengeance) underneath the image. I'm just creeped out by the fact that there's a comic strip called "Pewsitters."
 
american pride t-shirt slogan "Osama, Yo Mama!"
Okay. Well, it does rhyme, and there's something to be said for that. But are mother jokes really the answer to our current national crisis? After all, this is a war (or, so we are told), not "An Evening at the Apollo." Then again, maybe Bin Laden's issues with the US are actually just manifestations of some deep-seated childhood family issues which might be shaken loose by a serious contemplation of his relationship with his "mama." The guy who made this shirt might well be a friggin' genius!
 
american pride t-shirt slogan "The most dangerous place in the world is between a mother and her children."
I don't know. There's just something disturbing and deeply unsettling about the Statue of Liberty brandishing an enormous handgun. In general, I don't think it's a good policy to hold a baby in one hand and a loaded gun in another. I think there might even be something in the handgun license that at least suggests you shouldn't do it. And, who even makes a gun big enough for her to use? Plus, everyone knows when she comes to life she can use her torch as a fire-sword, and that's a way-cooler weapon.
All kidding aside, I just find this creepy.
 
american pride t-shirt slogan "No Jesus, no peace; know Jesus, know peace."
Whether you are a Christian or not, this slogan should be upsetting. Is the wearer of this t-shirt saying that, of the 5,000 or so people killed on Sept. 11, none believed in Jesus, so this is what they get? Or that, if you practice anything other than Christianity, you are likely a terrorist? Or, if we sit everyone in the world down and get them all to agree that Jesus is the Son of God, everything will just settle down? What about the Crusades? Those soldiers "knew Jesus," but peace was hardly their mission. What about the Protestants and Catholics in England at the time of Queen Elizabeth? Or in Northern Ireland now? They all "know Jesus," and there is little peace to be found. I just despise this kind of smug self-righteousness.
On top of all this, I must ask: who in hell designed this logo? For the love of Pete, at least justify the text or something.
 
american pride t-shirt slogan Eagle Boy: "America the Beautiful"
Who the hell is Eagle Boy??!!

All of these are from the CafePress.com disaster relief store. The proceeds are supposed to go to various relief funds, so the intentions are good, even if the execution is poor.
end of essay
David Nett Portrait David is an actor, writer and producer in Los Angeles. He's the founder and editor-in-chief of CSP, and a founding producer of the acclaimed Lucid by Proxy theater company. Despite all this, he still has to hold down a day job in the dot-com world, where he does product and interaction design. His acting has been called "committed," "detailed," "fearless," "hilarious" and "heart-rending" by the LA Times and Backstage West. His writing has been called "articulate and commanding" and "eminently readable" by Flak Magazine. His tenth grade Geometry teacher said he "does not work well in groups." | more essays by David
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