Rebuttal: Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
September 2, 2003
I have decided that as a woman, it is my responsibility to respond to CSP's first review of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle with just a few thoughts. I could, I suppose, defend Crispin Glover's role in the movie (he was an allegory for the supposed protection of women by patriarchal society, but when it really comes down to it, he can't save himself or Drew.) I could say that there were Fruedian traits embodied by Demi Moore (tell me those two big gold guns aren't phallic symbols.) But what I really want to say is, "Dammit, it's about time I got to see three women doing some pointless, plotless ass kicking on the big screen."
How many action movies have I seen in the span of my life which featured the male hero kicking asses with big guns that were pointless and plotless, you ask? Well, being that I have run out of digits to count on, I would assume over twenty. I mean, when you think about it, almost every Arnold Scharwzenegger movie fits the bill, as do most of Sylvester Stallone's films. Let's not even get me started on such would-be action heroes as Ben Affleck. (Who in the hell does he think he's kidding?) And Bruce Willis's Die Hard Trilogy? Well, I must admit, I own and even enjoy the first one. But weren't the last two simply the same movie done in another locale?
I could continue on in this vein, but I think we all understand the point. Hollywood has fed us male action heroes in bad films since time out of memory (or at least my memory.) Isn't it about time we get to see three women doing the same? I may be a peaceful person, but when you come right down to it, occassionally I like to see a bunch of bad guys get their asses kicked by three tough (yet strikingly beautiful) women, even if the fights scenes look a bit rehearsed. At least these three chicks don't need any big guns to back them up -- they're powerful and lethal all by themselves.
So, I give my three angels three cheers, and I look forward to Charlie's Angels three, which I hope will be entitled Bringing Down the Patriarchy. Oh, and I'll pass on the latest Terminator movie -- for some reason, I think I may have seen it before.