Me, not being a hard worker and lacking something I keep hearing about called a "work ethic", I spend my time emailing random, semi-famous people. Danny Bonaduce and I had a bit of correspondence going for awhile. I was considering renting out his Caribbean villa for my 30th birthday which is in two months. He was going to give me a deal since I was planning a giant drunken party and that is exactly how he thought his villa should be used. I opted for the low cost version and am instead hosting a small drunken party at a bar in the Valley. My latest non-stalker email communication goes out to the man who co-wrote the longest-running song on the Billboard Top 100.
To: Steve Poltz
Subject: AK Song
Date: Mon 07/26/04 12:43PM
I saw you perform about six or seven years ago in Anchorage, Alaska. You were opening for Jewel. The internet, not being then what it is today, contained no information about you whatsoever. Every couple of years I would remember that concert and remember your name and see if I could find out anything more. I was really glad to find your site the other day.
I played a couple of your songs for my husband, but he didn't really get them. I might have to divorce him.
At the concert with Jewel, you and she sang a duet that either had "rose" or "thorn" or maybe both in the title. Or maybe neither. Seriously, I might have been drunk at the time. Those were my college days.
Is that song, on the off chance that you know what song I am referring to, on any of your albums? If not, maybe you could just ring up Jewel and have her record it with you so that you can post it on your site just to please me. That would be great.
Tell Jewel I said hi. She might remember me from the concert. I was sitting about thirty rows back. The drunk one. Remember?
Surprisingly, he emailed me back within the hour, which leads me to believe that entertainers are just like you and me, sitting at their computers trying to avoid getting any work done.
Subject: RE: AK Song
Date: Mon 07/26/04 1:17PM
the song to which you are referring is called "love is a rose." it was written by neil young and it is hard to find. but i am sure you will be able to. we never recorded it together or apart for that matter.
i remember that concert. i really had a great time there. i need to return. i hope this helps.
Steve did not seem as enchanted and amused by my email as I was so I decided to see if I could pester him into responding to me. It is a method that has served me well since the second grade. Once I came out of a lunchtime stupor induced by too many carbs and the downside of a caffeine high, I sent him this email.
To: Steve Poltz
Subject: I'm Coming to See You!
Date: Mon 07/26/04 2:21PM
Thanks for the quick reply. "Love is a Rose" was easy to find on iTunes. The best version I listened to was Neil Young's own version from the album Decade. Linda Ronstadt also recorded the song on Prisoner in Disguise, but it wasn't nearly as good. By no means whatsoever should you be tempted to listen to the version recorded by a person called Lynnmarie. It sounds a bit like a chicken-fried hoedown. Also don't be fooled by "Love is a Rose" by Henri Cross (a woman, not a Frenchman), which seems to be an "inspirational" ballad. I didn't hear the words "God" or "Jesus" mentioned in the song but it just had that feeling, you know? I could totally picture Henri (ahn-REE) with poofy hair and a pink cardigan. On second thought, maybe it was a Frenchman.
None of these versions can compare to the live version of you and Jewel singing "Love is a Rose". All kidding and liquor aside, that song is really the best thing I remember about the concert. Your harmonies were awesome.
I noticed on your show schedule that you are playing at a bar in Mission Beach next month. I will definitely be there. I will probably stay the night at my friend Karla's house - she lives in Cardiff - since Mission Beach is pretty far from LA. At least it is too far to drive drunk and you know me... Here is a rad picture of Karla and me. Be sure to look for us at the show. We will probably look just like that since we were totally trashed that night.
Steve no likey. To date, I have not received a reply. I wonder if he will recognize me at the show. I hope so. If not, I will have to jot down his license plate number and find out where he lives. He'd probably like it if I dropped by for an iced chai latte or something. I wonder if a chai latte would taste the same if you used Kahlua instead of chai. I'll bring both in case he is out.